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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726768">Stories of the Second Self: Surprise Delivery</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner'>John_Steiner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alter Idem [157]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Urban Fantasy - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:35:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Once again, Dale Groneck encounters at home a situation that involves police. Only this time it's no mere prank, when he discovers a dead angel laid out on his living room carpet. Concerned about being SWATTED Dale immediately calls 911 to inform them of the body. Held under suspicion, Dale has to manage his responses and curtail any combativeness with the police.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alter Idem [157]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618813</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stories of the Second Self: Surprise Delivery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"The fuck is this!" I shouted, noticing what was on my living room floor on the way to the kitchen.</p><p>I couldn't believe it. A dead body, human I thought at first, lying on my living room floor with a fuckin' knife sticking out. I realized, after the moment of shock, that it wasn't human at all.</p><p>See, angel wings bend light around them, so they look like almost invisible glass, but to people like me they stand out as much as the rest of a living warm blooded body. It's when they're dead that we see them close to the way everyone else does because the infrared tones look like everything else at room temperature.</p><p>That's the problem; I'm a vampire and I got a dead angel in my house, and as far as I know nobody else is aware of this.</p><p>I didn't waste any time, when running back to my bedroom and swiping my phone off the nightstand that just screamed 20th century. I called up nine, one, one and let them know a dead body was in my house with a knife sticking out of it.</p><p>"Sir," the operator bids me to clarify in a suddenly slowed and deliberating change in tone. "are you saying you want to report a dead body in your home?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's what I said, isn't it?" I almost shout, waving my hand around like he can see it. "I don't know what happened to them other than there's a knife sticking out of their chest."</p><p>"Did you touch the body, sir?" the operator asked.</p><p>"No," I state clearly, realizing what they might be thinking if they ran my address on their computers. "I grabbed my phone, first thing, so I can report it."</p><p>"You didn't sample any of the blood, sir?" he asked rather specifically.</p><p>"I. Did. Not. Touch. It," I slowly replied, "I have my EMT and BPA cards, and I'm up to date on both. You think I wanna get swatted?"</p><p>Swatting, back before Alter Idem was pretty bad, but it took on a bigger meaning when whispers of No-Knock Raids resulted in vampires and other supernaturals disappearing without a trace. Vampires were the easiest to get rid of, because we no longer had DNA, and so it was next to impossible to identify the remains once burned by UV.</p><p>I had read in an article nearly two years ago that we also don't give off a particular scent of death that cadaver dogs sniff out. So all a rogue group of cops had to do was ensure a vampire's body was dumped in a place it would rot quickly. It was all rumor, but I was pretty sure there was truth in there somewhere.</p><p>"Okay, sir," the operator says, still in a too-careful tone, "Can you describe the deceased?"</p><p>"Ahh," I really hadn't bothered with any details other than the wings. "Red-brown hair. It's a woman. Slight of built. Can't really guess her height. Stretch pants and a skin tight top. The kind you'd expect for someone hitting the gym. She's barefoot."</p><p>"Did you remove her shoes?" the operator asked.</p><p>"What? You're sitting me!" I couldn't believe he'd gone right back to weird shit like that. "Why would I fuckin' take her shoes? I have no idea where her shoes are if she'd been wearing any."</p><p>"Sir, please stay calm," the operator said.</p><p>"Then don't ask me fucked up questions," I replied, "Oh, one other thing. Her body heat is gone. I don't know how long that takes, but there wasn't any brightness beyond the rest of the room when I noticed her."</p><p>It went on like that for a couple of minutes before I noticed the police cars outside. It was just after sundown when I woke up, but now it was completely night outside. Most people would think it's dark, but I don't experience dark anymore.</p><p>Despite what they must have been told, the cops didn't just bust into my house. They just doled out that hard knock that pretty much every minority who has heard it recognizes in an instant. I didn't hesitate getting the door, and first thing on seeing six officers I pointed to my phone. I recalled pre-Alter Idem stories about people getting shot because cops were too amped up to notice what someone was holding, and I didn't want to be next. Bullets might not be fatal, but I'm sure that doesn't stop it from hurting.</p><p>"Step back from the door, sir," the first officer orders.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, sure," I said while walking around my living room as far from the body as possible, and then said into my phone, "They're hear now. What do you want me to do?"</p><p>"The officers will handle it from here," the operator answered without hint of apology. "thank you for reporting."</p><p>"Mm-hm," I mumble before ending the call, and then looked to the four men and two women standing in my living room with their hands on UVC Mag-lites strapped to their belts.</p><p>"Did you move the body, sir?" the shorter of two women officers asked.</p><p>"No, none of that stuff," I said, shaking my head.</p><p>One cop, a guy with small antlers and would've looked Hispanic but for his skin tone seeming more woody orange now, flipped out his phone and left his index finger hovering over it as he started asking me questions.</p><p>They were pretty much the same as those of the operator, and then asked me about my living in the house and whereabouts for the last couple days. I had mentioned a werewolf party I go to every weekend, which didn't perk his interest.</p><p>It's not like werewolves wouldn't use a knife on anybody, because it takes them a couple minutes to change, and it doesn't look like the most comfortable thing to do for them. Though, while the Fae cop took down my statement I noticed streaks of blood on my carpet from the door.</p><p>They were faint enough that I guessed she was dead when dragged into my house. The second thing to occur to me took a minute.</p><p>I'm not a big guy, meaning I don't look buff, but after I had suddenly died and woke up to be a vampire I never really had to struggle carrying most stuff. Once, I helped with a flat when the guy's jack wouldn't work.</p><p>Any vampire could've walked with a non-giant person on their shoulder without too much problem. Body weight was our only issue, so it's not like we can just straight-arm a person up at full extension like some sci-fi cyber villain and not shift our footing.</p><p>Yet, this woman was dragged into my house. There were people who'd wonder why I couldn't notice someone creepin' into my home, but we only have good night and heat vision. Smell, hearing, and all that other shit isn't any better. My visual acuity, last I had it checked, was twenty-twenty, which is better than when I was alive, but it's not superhuman sharp.</p><p>"Alright, thank you sir," the Fae cop wraps up his question before I realize it.</p><p>"I don't see why he'd deliberately drag the victim in like this," another officer said into her radio handset. "Yes, we confirmed he's the resident and has been for about three years. No history of non-compliance, and there were two calls to the residence before."</p><p>Yeah-- that. For the second call, seems someone thought it would be funny to freeze a mannequin to the outside of my house like it was a feeding victim or some shit. That made those cops edgy until they realized it was plastic. This time, I guess someone decided to step up their game.</p><p>A coroner arrived later, not only to examine the body where it was, but to check me over to make sure I'm not the one who did it. After, I spent several hours at the police station answering more questions and being examined more, before they decided I wasn't the killer.</p><p>They knew that because there were only stab wounds and no bite marks. The teeth of vampires aren't long, but they're all sharp little hooks. The coroner let me know he didn't find any saliva on the victim, so that help clear me, and that the blood loss from the stab wounds weren't out of the ordinary. It made me think how screwed up a person had to be to imagine ordinary bleeding after being stabbed like that.</p><p>Some detective lady with red hair then explained that she suspected the body was dumped at my house to frame me, but she didn't tell me what the motive was to kill the angel woman. I normally would've just thought being psycho was enough, but then to try framing a vampire like me made me take that personally.</p><p>People just fuckin' suck, and that's not me trying to be punny.</p>
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